My best friends hate me! I just know it! (psst – actually, you don’t know it).

To-be-weds can get worked up, and wedding party drama is a common occurrence. I like to point out that if you listen to your own words, you can often hear wisdom.

An example:

“My friends hate me, I just know it!” Let’s play that back. You “just know it?” Chances are you’re making assumptions. So a friend didn’t show up for lunch, and hasn’t returned your call. You have no idea of their circumstances– a sick parent, a dead car battery. Try not to jump immediately to “my best friends hate me.”

Friends don’t pitch in at weddings for free booze– they’re in it for the joy of helping you find happiness. So if it turns out someone is upset, they don’t hate you, they are just hurt by something you said or did.2013-stice.jpg

Your job as a good friend is to find out what happened and work it out. Approaching these situations with grace and humility while planning your wedding is not only good for smoothing things over in the immediate, but will also cement these important friendships for life.

Be well, and love well.

-Dinah

Little Flower Girl, Big Wedding Dreams.

Little girls have big wedding dreams and unlimited imaginations.  Now look at that from a different perspective. You want the person designing your wedding to have…big wedding dreams and unlimited imaginations. Hey, look! In-house wedding planners unfettered by budget or reality! Let them tell you all their thoughts and dreams and stories. And when the wild dream of a cotton candy dress becomes a cotton candy cart at the reception, you’ll know who to thank. With a big fat ball of cotton candy

Be well, and love well.

Flower girls are a source of wedding ideas.

Flower girls are a source of wedding ideas.

Dinah

Friends Don’t Let Friends go Into Debt To Be A Bridesmaid

It’s your day, Bride, no question about it.  But take time to think about your friends and their circumstances.  Chances are you know all too well how expensive it can get being a bridesmaid, or even just being a friend-of-the-bride, what with showers, bachelorettes, wedding gifts…it adds up.  Here are some “dos and don’ts” for keeping your friends feelings and finances in mind.

DON’T

  • Keep Up With The Jolies.  Yes, we all read the magazines of celebrity excesses and glamorous getaways, but celebrate in a way all your gals can afford.  Does your entire gaggle of girls need to go to Puerto Rico for a long bachelorette weekend? Does your shower need to be at the Ritz? Keep your expectations within everyone’s budget.
  • Have a Surprise Party.  No one likes expensive surprises.  When your maids find out on wedding day that they owe $150 plus tip for hair and make-up (that is “optional,” but everyone else is doing it), you can’t expect they’ll be feeling celebratory.

Nora and Julie - the world's greatest bridesmaids

DO

  • Be choosy (in a good way). Pay attention when choosing your wedding party.  Did your cousin just get laid off? Does your best friend have college loans up the wazoo? If you think someone might feel less than honored – ask her in a neutral way that allows a graceful “out.”
  • Adopt an attitude of gratitude! Thank everyone.  This seems like a no-brainer, but tell everyone how much you appreciate the love and support.  The more your friends hear this during the lead up to your wedding, the better the experience will be for everyone!

 There you have it.  Keep your friendships together, and everyone’s wallet (relatively) intact.

 Be well, and love well!

 -Dinah

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