Palm Springs Florist

The language of wedding planning for gay couples: bride and groom?

by

Congratulations to all who got engaged on New Year’s Eve! All over the country there are happy couples now planning weddings that were a mere twinkle in the eye (or jewelry box) a week ago. For so long it’s been a transition from happy pair to bride and groom.  But with the dawn of marriage equality, (cue the heavenly chorus) people of all orientations are popping the question, and the old language just doesn’t fit. So we in the wedding industry need to be conscious.  So much marketing is aimed at “brides,” it can be exclusionary.  We want to be open and helpful to wedding planning for gay couples, too. So I’ve come up with a new term to use in the blog: “to-be-weds.”  Applicable to any couple or individual, it invokes the excitement of the wedding, and the special status of the celebrant.  I don’t think I can cut out “bride” entirely, but my New Year’s resolution is to try and be as inclusive as possible as we move forward in 2014.

Jerry & David - such a happy couple!
Jerry & David – such a happy couple!

You can help!  Are you a My Little Flower Shop newlywed? Send us your wedding photographs for use on our website and blog!  We love all photographs, but are especially building our collection of same sex weddings. All the photographs, regardless of the content, help inspire wedding planning for gay couples all across the country, and the world.

Happy New Year to all, to-be-weds, newlyweds, and all readers.

Live well, and love well.

Dinah

Weddings need to be a “should free” zone

by

In the world of weddings, as in the rest of life, “should” is a dangerous word. As we head into engagement season, I want to address the concept of “should” as relates to wedding planning. A lot of advertising is aimed at to-be-weds about what they “should” do, wear, or even spend on their celebrations. You’ll be happier if you tune out those voices. Let’s talk about why.

If I had been the photographer, I'd have gotten closer to the beautiful bouquet. Photo by Kelly Mendoza
If I had been the photographer, I’d have gotten closer to the beautiful bouquet. Photo by Kelly Mendoza

Think about what ‘should” actually means. If you should, it means you aren’t. That what you are doing, being, eating, choosing, etc. is ill-considered, misguided and sometimes (depending on how dramatic your mother is) fatal. It could be that you’re not doing it right, or that you’re not doing it at all, but whatever it is, a “should” implies you are wrong and bad.

Even full of confidence and empowered by the fact that this YOUR wedding/life, being told that you aren’t doing something right starts to make you reconsider. “Maybe I should do/be whatever it is that I’m not. Should I have thought of that?” And so it becomes internal. Should means aren’t, and eventually it drills down to doubting who you are.

So skip the “shoulds” people! Tempted in conversation? Try:

  • A good option might be to…
  • You know, I had a friend who…
  • If it were me, I would…

Support your friends – to-be-weds and the general public. If it were me, I’d tell them you love them, too.

Be well, and love well.
-Dinah