My best friends hate me! I just know it! (psst – actually, you don’t know it).

To-be-weds can get worked up, and wedding party drama is a common occurrence. I like to point out that if you listen to your own words, you can often hear wisdom.

An example:

“My friends hate me, I just know it!” Let’s play that back. You “just know it?” Chances are you’re making assumptions. So a friend didn’t show up for lunch, and hasn’t returned your call. You have no idea of their circumstances– a sick parent, a dead car battery. Try not to jump immediately to “my best friends hate me.”

Friends don’t pitch in at weddings for free booze– they’re in it for the joy of helping you find happiness. So if it turns out someone is upset, they don’t hate you, they are just hurt by something you said or did.2013-stice.jpg

Your job as a good friend is to find out what happened and work it out. Approaching these situations with grace and humility while planning your wedding is not only good for smoothing things over in the immediate, but will also cement these important friendships for life.

Be well, and love well.


My Little Etiquette Shop: Girls in white dresses – hold the blue satin sashes,

Sorry Julie Andrews/Maria, we’ve got a bride on our hands who doesn’t want anyone wearing color at her wedding.  So in the coming Oprah-void, for Favorite Things she’ll have to stick to snowflakes and mittens – although this sounds like a summer wedding, so we’ll work on that one.  On to our latest reader dilemma:  Send yours for us to tackle!  Please email us at, and include the word “etiquette” in the subject line.
My niece’s wedding invitation arrived and it requests that everyone wear white to her celebration.  I thought it was tacky to wear white to a wedding. Also, telling people what to wear seems bossy, and expensive for families. My kids don’t exactly wear a lot of white. Should I talk to  my niece about maybe not doing that part?
– Bleach Mum
There’s two ways to go here, and we’re advocates of family peace and harmony, so we’d actually advise you to stay, well, mum. Speaking up could upset your niece, which I guarantee will upset your sister. Whether or not your niece has put on her bossy pants, your sister is in the midst of planning her daughter’s wedding (trust me – an emotional time for mama bear) so it’s best to roll with the color scheme. As you hinted, your family will likely only use these outfits once – so they don’t have to be high end designer duds. Check out TJ Maxx, Target, or sites like for low priced, good looking options. And then, day of, admire the truly beautiful effect of a large group of people all in white. Should your niece want our opinion, we’d advise against all white flowers. With  monochromatic pastels, however, she’ll knock everyone’s (white) socks off.
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