What Really Counts At My Little Flower Shop? Giving Back.

What a week! As many of you know, El Jefe, the Big Man On Campus, our Fearless Leader, AKA Gregory Goodman, turned 50 on Wednesday.  There was quite a celebration.  Alan, Head Designer, and all around terrific husband, made sure Greg’s party at The Fix on El Paseo was classy, fun and beautifully decorated.  Friends came to celebrate from near and far, and the cake was phenomenal, as one might have known since The Fix is attached to The Pastry Swan’s retail location. Oooh, I can still taste that cake.

Al raises a glass to his gorgeous 50th birthday arrangement at Fix

But as Greg told me later, something else also meant a lot to him that day.  He helped a friend decorate a table** at her daughter’s high school graduation. He said “It wasn’t a big deal – some mirrors, and a couple things styled in a fun way” but he went on to explain he felt it had been for a girl who really achieved something.  “She and her family worked hard for that diploma. And her family was so proud – and I was too, and I got to help that happen with what I love to do.”  So for Gregory, an important gift he got on Wednesday was, in fact, one he gave away: help, support and encouragement to someone else.

It got me thinking – Greg gives a lot, to a lot of people. And that’s the secret to his happiness and positive attitude. He gave me and Stephen 150% of his time, energy and love when we got married in 2010. And he gives that kind of focus to all his brides; I’ve seen the tough businessman cry at many a wedding he attends. He’s given second chances. I’ve known him to hire people that many businesses wouldn’t, and to get great work (and great loyalty) out of them. He gives so much to the Wedding Warriors – and to making sure his friends and associates get business from his clients. The guests at his party certainly reflected that. He always shares his success.

So that’s what I’m thinking about today. Gregory’s birthday gift of giving. And it reminds me that there is always a gift to be given that is from the heart. And sometimes it’s just showing up, and doing what you love.

Be well, and love well.

-Dinah

* We would have liked to include a photo of the table. Unfortunately we used a linen from TE Couture Linen that we had in the shop as a sample, and they were upset. We would like to use this space to publicly apologize, we are sorry they were unhappy that we did not make advance arrangements for a contract to donate use of the tablecloth sample. We regret that they have chosen to no longer do business with My Little Flower Shop, and hope to remedy that situation.

 

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Karma, Fate, Destiny…with your wedding vendors. Embrace it!

In Chicago over the holiday weekend, while waiting for a table at Hyde Park‘s Original Pancake House, my family and I bumped into the wonderful and talented Julia Needlman, of Julia Needlman Custom Couture, the woman who made my custom wedding gown. It was wonderful to see her (and her mother – my nursery school teacher) and have her meet my husband. Somehow it felt very much like things came full circle.

Meeting Julia was almost a magical experience.  She saw inside my head, and pulled out what I wanted my wedding dress to look like.  Sitting in her studio talking, I forgot I hadn’t known her forever.  She made the process feel organic, and very special.  Some girls may want the whole Kleinfeld “Say Yes To The Dress” experience, but having visited one bridal shop with mom and mom-in-law in tow, I felt something else was more to my liking.  And Julia felt right.  So seeing her again, was like fate.  Goodness knows I had talked about her nonstop, and now Stephen got to meet her, and we got to catch up…it was just a lovely moment.

Julia's brilliant dressmaking in action under the huppah

So.  Flash forward a year.  Are you going to be delighted to run into people who worked on your wedding?  Do you feel connected to your vendors?  It’s important to have that meeting of the minds – and yes, hearts, with the people who make your wedding day tick.  Memories aren’t made to keep to yourself, you want to share them with everyone who had a part in making your dream a reality. Make sure your vendors are people you want to be in those memories, and to share them with!

Be well, and love well.

Dinah

PS – Speaking of “Say Yes To The Dress,” don’t forget that “Randy to the Rescue” will premiere on TLC on June 15th starring my brilliant hairstylist Paul Norton! (oh yeah – and that Randy guy too).

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Extreme Wedding Prep: Taking It Too Far

All brides have anxiety about looking great on the big day.  The women featured a recent New York Times article about losing weight for one’s wedding  who went on diets varying from fasts to calorie restricted fluid diets administered by tubes down the nose are, in my eyes, misguided.

My husband and I moved faster than the average – we got engaged in May and married in October.  Still, I knew what needed to be done and got my butt back to Weight Watchers and on a work-out schedule with a qualified personal trainer (to be fair, there is one woman in the article who hit the gym).

They say “all things in moderation” in terms of dieting, and we say it definitely applies in terms of wedding prep.  Like planning isn’t stressful enough without a tube up your nose? What do you think? Weigh in in our comments section. My favorite reaction so far is from my mom, who sent me the article: “Yech.” Thanks for the tip Mom!

from The New York Times.

Losing Weight in Time for the Wedding

Barbara Fernandez for The New York Times

Jessica Schnaider, 41, spent eight days on a feeding tube, a process that costs $1,500 for 10 days, so she would fit into her wedding gown when she marries in Argentina in June. She had the tube removed early because she was losing too much weight.

By LINDA LEE
Published: April 13, 2012

JENNIFER DERRICK’S weight had crept to 159 pounds from 125, and she knew she would not fit into her grandmother’s wedding dress

Barbara Fernandez for The New York Times
“Women were smaller back then, and there was nothing to let out,” said Ms. Derrick, of Rockford, Ill. She took prescription pills, had vitamin B shots and made weekly $45 visits to a Medithin clinic in Janesville, Wis. When she married on March 18, she was back to 125 pounds; the gown, from 1938, fit perfectly.

In March, Jessica Schnaider, 41, of Surfside, Fla., was preparing to shop for a wedding gown by spending eight days on a feeding tube. The diet, under a doctor’s supervision, offered 800 calories a day while she went about her business, with a tube in her nose.

A 2007 Cornell University study by Lori Neighbors and Jeffery Sobal found that 70 percent of 272 engaged women said they wanted to lose weight, typically 20 pounds. So brides are increasingly going on crash diets, inspired by seeing celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker or Gwyneth Paltrow, cowed by the prospect of wearing a revealing and expensive gown and knowing that wedding photos (if not the marriage) are forever.

In the two months of fittings before most clients’ weddings at Kleinfeld Bridal in New York, seamstresses are kept busy taking in gowns. Brides-to-be say, “I don’t want the size 16, I want the 14 or the 12,’ ” said Jennette Kruszka, Kleinfeld’s marketing director. (Note: wedding dresses run small, so a typical size 8 dress will be a size 10 or 12, a psychological shock for the young woman buying the gown. Kleinfeld resists brides who want smaller sizes, because taking a dress in is easier than letting it out.)

“There was no way I could imagine seeing myself in a strapless bridal gown,” said Colleen McGowan, 36, a New Yorker who used Weight Watchers and hired a personal trainer to drop 20 pounds for her wedding nine years ago. Her trainer, Sue Fleming, a fitness coach in Brooklyn, is the author of the book “Buff Brides.”

“I’ve been training brides for 12 to 13 years, and the typical weight loss is 15 to 20 pounds,” said Ms. Fleming, who charges $140 to $200 a session. One of her customers was so proud of her improved arms that she dropped and did push-ups before walking the aisle.

Brooke Baxter, 34, a music entrepreneur in Brooklyn who got engaged in November, ordered the BluePrintCleanse, which costs $65 a day for six bottles of organic juice. It helped her drop six pounds in three days. She will cleanse again before her wedding in May, she said.

BluePrint actively courts brides, even suggesting on its Web site “a cleanse with your whole bridal party.” Erica Huss, a founder of BluePrint, explained the effect of the diet as “You’re working out all the bad stuff.” Put another way, an all-juice diet is a laxative.

But the many “detoxing” cleanses make misleading claims, says Dr. David Gorski, an associate professor of surgery at Wayne State University in Detroit and a blogger at Science-Based Medicine. “Do you notice they never tell you what the toxins actually are?” he said. “There’s no science to back them up.”

Fad diets are cyclical. Master Cleanse (lemon juice, paprika, a dash of maple syrup, all in water, for 10 days) was published in a 1976 book and returned to popular consciousness with Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore two years ago.

“Celebrities are not known for doing things that are necessarily the healthiest or most sensible in many parts of their lives,” said Dr. Louis Aronne, the director of the Comprehensive Weight Control Program at NewYork-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center. “Nutrition should probably be included in that.”

The Atkins diet inspired the South Beach diet, which, most recently, has been popular as the high-protein, low-fat Dukan diet. “I didn’t want to be a fat bride,” said Casey Crisefi, 31, of Hagerstown, Pa., who lost 70 pounds on Dukan.

One of the most drastic diets involves daily injections of human chorionic gonadotropin, a hormone associated with pregnancy. The method was popularized in 1954 when Dr. Albert T. W. Simeons published “Pounds and Inches.” The fad is back, and in December 2010, the Food and Drug Administration reiterated its findings: over-the-counter human chorionic gonadotropin was fraudulent for weight loss and illegal, and a prescription for it does not help weight loss.

Dr. Cynthia Macer of the MediLean clinic in Rolling Hills Estates, Calif., says she tells her patients “flat out what the F.D.A says.” But they lose weight by combining the injections, weekly meetings with a registered nurse and a 500-calorie diet. The $950 cost includes medical screening, the hormone and instructions in self-administering the shots.

Lindsay Gardner, 28, lost 14 pounds on the diet in six weeks before her wedding last year, but critics insist the injections are a placebo.        

Something medical is indeed happening in the newest diet to reach the United States. Dr. Oliver R. Di Pietro has been offering what he calls a K-E diet at his modest clinic in Bay Harbor Islands, Fla., since last July.

Jennifer and Robert Derrick on their wedding day in March.

“I get a lot of brides,” Dr. Di Pietro said. “Nervous eating.”

It uses a nasogastric tube (a tube that goes through the nose and down the esophagus into the stomach) to provide all nourishment, with no carbohydrates, for 10 days. Dr. Di Pietro said body weight is lost quickly through ketosis, the state in which the body burns fat rather than sugar. Patients at his office are monitored during the 10-day period for things like constipation, bad breath and dizziness.

“Any extreme low-calorie diet is associated with side effects, kidney stones, dehydration, headaches,” Dr. Aronne said, “and if you lose muscle mass and water, what’s the point of that?”

While the tube diet is fairly unknown in this country, it has been popular for years in Italy and Spain, where it is used casually to lose weight before a big event, as well as for more significant weight loss. In England, where it has been offered for the past year as the KEN (or ketogenic enteral nutrition) diet, The Daily Mail asked if it was “the most extreme diet ever,” before adding that a National Health Service doctor was offering it.

Dr. Scott Shikora, the director of the Center for Metabolic Health and Bariatric Surgery at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, said: “Putting a tube in one’s nose, it’s not always comfortable and pleasant. And this has to be medically supervised.”

Ms. Schnaider had the tube removed early, not because of discomfort, but because she was losing too much weight, reaching 127 pounds, 10 pounds down, in eight days. Her wedding is scheduled for June in her native Argentina.

“At first I decided not to do it for people who just want to lose a few pounds,” Dr. Di Pietro said. “But then I thought, why should I say 5 or 10 pounds are not enough? People want to be perfect.”

They are willing to pay for it: $1,500 for the 10 days, which includes a screening and the equipment. They also have to feel confident enough to wear the tube in public.

“People think I’m sick, I’m dying,” said Ms. Schnaider, a watch wholesaler in Miami. She refrained from going into her daughters’ school. “The children, they would be scared,” she said.

Dr. Shikora said any caloric restriction will lead to weight loss. “The novelty is, they shove a tube in your nose,” he said.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s through a tube, a straw, a meal plan,” he said. “They all work, if someone goes from 3,000 calories a day to 800.”

The problem, critics of these programs say, is crash dieting in general.

“I don’t want to tell a bride she shouldn’t look good for the wedding,” Dr. Aronne said. “But we tell them, ‘You can get to the same place if you started earlier, instead of waiting until the last minute and doing something drastic.’ ”

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The Real Bollywood McCoy! Nisha and Jiten: A Magical Journey

This is a to-die-for, drop dead gorgeous, over the top Indian wedding straight off the Bollywood Big Screen. Apparently the British royals have nothing on this glamorous pair! Set in Thailand, complete with genuine Bollywood guest stars this visual feast could rival any big budget blockbuster. Enjoy.

Nisha & Jiten – A Magical Journey – Hua Hin, Thailand from MILI GHOSH (http://in-motionstud on Vimeo.

What’s a wedding for, anyway? These two have an interesting answer, bless their hearts.

Congratulations To David Friedlander and Jacqueline Schmidt.

I admit it, I had a hard time processing this article about their wedding from today’s New York Times. I knew there were people in Brooklyn opening restaurants that only serve popovers, and shopping in artisanal hardware stores. But I was unaware that this particular strain of children of the free range, organic, unprocessed corn, had begun to infuse weddings with their intense navel gazing. And apparently, these two believed their wedding to be the ultimate chance to say, “Hey, world! Look at our navels!”

In all sincerity, I wish the Friedlander-Schmidt duo a great deal of happiness, love and a blissful newlywed year. But guys, when you let a New York Times reporter gaze at your navel, all we saw was overpriced lint.

No Place Like Home For The Holidays. Can I get an amen?

No, the holidays sure do take things up a notch at home. Something about coming home to be merry and bright is exhausting. And when we’re tired, the universal family nonsense ( or as we say in yiddish, mishegas) gets amplified, and suddenly it’s an episode of Days of Our Lives, without the funny window washer guy and the evil twin cheerleaders. Holidays are just the worst for family drama.

Unfortunately, for families with daytime Emmy hopes, weddings can be worse. If you are engaged, and expecting a volatile Week coming up take advantage of it. Pull aside the worst offenders, and point out how their behavior upsets you. Try to use “I” statements, and do not be accusatory. Then add “I really hope not to experience that on my wedding day.” Hopefully something will click, and your wedding will be more silver screen, and less soap opera.

Happy Holidays!

Dinah

Tossing the Bouquet Toss – All The Single Ladies Will Thank You.

It’s an iconic image – the bride leaving the reception and tossing a bouquet into a cheering crowd of happy single gals.  In real life, when the DJ fires up the Beyoncé song and calls out all qualified bouquet catchers frequently, women of a certain age or mindset disappear into the woodwork.  Or the ladies room.  When I was on bridesmaid duty, I always found that was a perfect time to go sprinkle rose petals in the bridal suite.

An inspired bouquet. Let us inspire you!

So, how do you incorporate this tradition without setting your single friends’ teeth on edge? Here’s my favorite spin.  Instead of throwing your flowers at someone, which is a little hostile when you think about it, GIVE them away to a lady (or gentleman – we don’t judge) you love and wish to honor.  Grandma, Man of Honor,  childhood best friend,  you pick.

I’m betting there’s someone attending your wedding who’d be thrilled to pieces to be presented with a special posy.  And I can tell you from personal experience, there are girls who will be thrilled with the peace of not having their marital status paraded around the dance floor.

Love to all the Single Ladies!  And Love to that handsome fella who made me a Mrs!

-Dinah

Dinah, her GORGEOUS bouquet and her even MORE GORGEOUS husband.

Millionaire Matchmaking, Bachelorettes, and those crazy housewives

Reality TV is a fact of life these days. Finding your Mr. Or Ms. Right on national television? I’m pretty sure that’s official country song wrong place number 23 to look for love. There are, however, things to be learned from the seekers of everlasting happiness and romance in prime time.

Patty Stanger, “The Millionaire Matchmaker” on Bravo, spends an hour a week matching up difficult personalities. The editing surely makes things a) more amusing and b) less frustrating than they appear in the tiny mirror on the side of our guilty-pleasure-mobiles. But Patty does have some valuable things to say (and some funny ones to be sure).

The most important advice I’ve heard her give is “make love a priority and love will come.” the same needs to be true after love has been found. When planning your wedding, love still has to be the priority so that it will know how to stick around.

The Bachelorette is incomprehensible to me, personally. It’s some perverse version of sorority rush with all the catty parts and none of the redeeming sisterhood. If you can learn anything from this one, it’s be careful what you wish for. And for goodness sake, don’t wish to be locked up in a house full of weepy overly made up, emotionally underdeveloped girls.

Last but not least we have the Unsinkable Kim Wozniak, of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. She found her latest football player love at a charity event she was attending to support another housewife’s penchant for dancing badly in public. And now she’s (on the show) about to pop with a new baby boy. Now that’s one way to make love stick around

The reality tv trend has got to hit a wall at some point. Let’s keep the super glam wedding shows and dispense with the drama. Is anybody with me?

Where’s my remote?

-Dinah

Head to toe! Let Your Whole Body talk! And other Drag Queen Wedding Beauty tips.

Drag Queens are Fabulous.  I’ve been watching RuPaul’s Drag Race on Netflix, and Ru is beyond fabulous – she’s wise, elegant, and one heck of a make-up artist.  So here are some “Drag” tips gleaned that are gold for Brides (and maids, and Moms…and the occasional Groom).

1)   Accentuate the positive.  Find your best feature and flaunt it.  RuPaul accents her height, and her fabulous bone structure.  Find a dress that suits you, and your body type. Ru has award winning stylists, we can find you some too. In SoCal, head straight over to Desert Bride for expert counsel and assistance.

2)   Ignore all things Negative.  Drag queens frequently have overcome a lot to be happy with who they are and to be comfortable expressing themselves.  So once they get to that point, they are FUN and HAPPY.  Stay fun!  Depressed?  Put on Abba – maybe “Gimme gimme gimme (a man after midnight)” and lip sync for your sweetie.  You’ll both laugh – and laughter is good.

RuPaul, all crystals and confidence.

3)   Lashes, lashes, lashes.  This one’s fairly self explanatory – drag queens don’t go to Rite Aid without their fake lashes on, girlfriend, so you shouldn’t think about going down the aisle without yours. Once you see how they “pop” your look, you’ll thank me. Or Ru. Or both.

4)   Think creatively!  Do you think  the fashion world comes up with looks like the Sex and the City “bird on her head” wedding look? No – it comes from the fringe (read: drag queens, art school drop-outs,  nouveau bohos and assorted other creative types) and works it’ way into couture.  Trust me – Lady Bunny had a bird on her head long before SJP.

5)    Let your whole body talk. it’s a confidence thing.  When drag queens hit a stage or a runway, they’ve got a power, a confidence, an attitude that brides would do well do take a dollop of to add to their sugar and spice.  Nice is good, but Fabulous is great.

Work that aisle like a supermodel girls! (Turn to the left! Work! Turn to the Right!)

Sashay Chanté…

-Dinah

December. New Month. Thank Goodness.

Sometimes what you need is a demarcation.  A boundary. The end of a week, the end of a month, sometimes even just the end of an afternoon, depending on what you’re doing, or who you’re spending it with (Oh, yes Aunt Ida. That’s a lovely teacup! Akron? Really?) You catch my drift.

Here’s the trick. You can invent your own boundary. Sit yourself down, and have a Lifetime Movie Moment.  Talk to yourself in the mirror, or at a picturesque location of your choosing- and decide to stop in the name of love. Cut it off at the pass.. Why have a bad day, when you can keep it to a bad morning?  Make it a bad few days rather than assigning it a whole week.

Picturesque location anyone? (This one happens to be the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens). Photo by Stephen Thomas

This is a super important trick for brides-to-be, because contrary to those soft focus articles in BRIDES magazine, things go wrong.  And you’re gonna have to partition off those times or you’ll feel like Cinderella stood up by a gal who said she was your fairy godmother, but might have been the Avon Lady.  Invitations printing wrong on that fancy new paper? Found out your dress will be late?  Time to start picking out locations for that “She’s Getting Married” Lifetime movie you’re starring in.  Get to it, TV star.  ’Cause you’ve got work to do.

Welcome to December everyone. Signing off, from my picturesque location where the sun is shining, and there’s some very cheesy music swelling as we fade out.

-Dinah