And in ring three, the triumphant return of Kim Kardashian to the Media Circus!

I was saddened (although not surprised, see my prior blog on ‘Setting Yourself Up To Fail’) by the news of Kim Kardshian’s latest circus act – a divorce, mere weeks after the airing of her two part “fairy tale wedding” tv special. Why did she bother? Figuring in sponsorships, TV exposure, and a free exotic honeymoon, getting married was a good career move. Kris, bless his heart, was just a convenient warm body with the right anatomy.

Although those in the shallow end of the emotional pool may not understand, having a big fat wedding, Armenian or otherwise, for the wrong reasons is a serious no-no. Examine your motives.

  • Wanting a wedding is not reason enough to get married. The dress goes in a box, the cake is eaten, the birdseed goes, well, to the birds. It’s a beautiful day that only holds meaning if you mean it. If you want to play dress up, find somewhere to relive your days as Prom Queen, and hold out for true love.
  • “All my friends are doing it” doesn’t fly either. Keeping Up With The…Joneses is exhausting, and pointless, no matter how badly you want the Cuisinart, and how sick you are of being single. Being miserable and legally stuck is far worse.
  • No old maid nonsense. With scientific advances, and the thousands of children in this country needing adoptive homes, don’t think you’re up against a wall. This isn’t 1959. No one’s going to shun you.
  • Most importantly, don’t settle for what brilliant essayist Cynthia Heimel would call “lukewarm love.” If you’re walking down the aisle with someone, you should know with all your heart and with all your soul that this is The One. Not The One Who Can Get You The Best TV Deal.

The institution of marriage will survive the disrespect that reality TV heaps on it: from murderous millionaires, to bratty aspiring Bradys, to this kapitalist kalamity. Our poor blindsided NBA prince, however, may take a while to realize Keeping Away From rather than Keeping Up With the Kardashians is the best way to go.

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